Yes, January of this year. I first heard about it almost exactly a year ago and it’s just kind of an interesting story. A client I had years ago, a woman who had a lot of money but had no family, no relatives, or anything, and she made me the executor of her estate. So when she died, I was the executor and a woman named Sally Popper, who was the co-founder of this particular Western Massachusetts chapter of A Home Within, was the co-executor or the alternate executor. So we had some time together - she’s also a clinical director out here, and she was telling me about the program, knowing that I was a therapist too. You know, I got kind of excited about it because it’s towards the tail end of my regular career - I’ve cut back on my private practice end, and I have a history of working with foster kids in the mental health field. So she said, “Come on, you can do this, we’d love to have you join!” And she persisted over the course of many months, asking me if I was ready yet, if I was there yet, and so I decided to do it and made the jump early in this year and got matched up with somebody back in, probably around March or so. So she [Sally] gets credit for that, she’s also great. You know for her to have started a chapter of an organization like this out here, and she’s also the clinical director of my particular peer consultation group, and she’s terrific at that. Really a smart person.

Yeah, the woman who died was really quite brilliant and she wasn’t easy, but she was smart and she didn’t suffer any fools, and not too long before she died, she said, “That Sally Popper, man. She is a smart woman. She is a smart woman.” So, if this woman, whose first name was Eleanor, thought that Sally Popper was okay, she was okay with me too! Because this woman would really not give anybody that she didn’t think was worthwhile a minute of her attention or time.

Oh you know, I really think it’s a great organization. If somebody’s got just a little bit of time to be able to devote to this, there’s just so many good things about it. The idea of being able to see a client with no strings attached, where you don’t have to worry about insurance, too much note-taking, just all of that stuff - the financial piece is taken out of the picture. And the length of time you get to see the person taking that out of the picture makes it really a delightful kind of thing to do.
And you get so much support from A Home Within. I’ve been in a lot of volunteer organizations, and I’ve never been catered to as much as with A Home Within! I mean, the CE offerings, the other events, just the support that you get. It’s really a pretty remarkable organization in terms of you not feeling like you’re out there alone as a volunteer. The peer support stuff is huge.
So I think anybody who’s got the time, and it’s not a lot of time, but just the time to be able to do it would have a wonderful experience. Ideally, somebody like me who still has a private practice but I’ve been cutting it back over the years as I reach the latter part of my career, you know it’s absolutely perfect for people like that. But I think there’s also a real need for younger people who probably really could do it as part of their private practice while still actively working in other areas. And I think that would be great because I think there’s probably a need for younger therapists to provide services.
So yeah, I’ve just really been happy doing it. And also the idea of volunteering, you know, we all read so much about how one of the things that determines happiness is giving to others, volunteering, and it’s really true. When you feel like, “Wow, I’m doing something that’s really helping somebody else,” and I’m not necessarily getting anything tangible in return in terms of money or something like that, it just feels good helping somebody out.

Yeah, it’s amazing and I’m not just saying that! You do get stuff on a regular basis, a CE offering, in effect, people just checking in like, “How are you doing? How’s it going? Do you want to be involved in this offering? Do you want to go see Lucy Kaplansky, I mean there’s a thing happening in Boston where she’s gonna play some music. She’s one of my all-time favorite singer-songwriters! Have you ever heard her? She’s amazing!

She’s amazing! And I think she started out as a clinical psychologist and then kind of left that to pursue music full time, if I’m correct, so that’s kind of cool. So yeah, that support is real, and it continues, which is nice.

Yeah, I spent a little time thinking about this. Again, the idea of having a client - and I happen to have a client I really like a lot, and we have a 4 o’clock slot every Monday carved out. He arrives right on time, we haven’t ever missed a session so far, so even though it’s only been about four months, that would be at least sixteen meetings. We’re able to talk about whatever we want, there’s no pressure to get things done unless he or I felt it. We are completely open about what we can and want to do. So I love that idea.
And then not having to worry about billing for his services at the end of each month, dealing with insurance which was always a pain in the neck anyway. That part I’ve liked.
I’ve also really liked my peer consultation group. I’ve got to say, we meet every couple of weeks for an hour and a half. I’m getting to know the people and their cases, and they’re all really interesting! I mean, they have a lot of different backgrounds and orientations but I think everybody’s united in enjoying this work and wanting to learn from each other. So the peer support consultation piece is huge.
I also think the idea that one could really get all of one’s CE credits if you really needed them, through A Home Within instead of having to go to conferences or elsewhere and pay a lot of money for them - the continuing education piece - is huge. There’s some good offerings there too, and I think that’s a draw for a lot of therapists, and really could be.
So, those are the biggest things. And then honestly for me, especially being like kind of a jockey, sportsy person, there’s a golf tournament out here and I got an email last week from one of the other clinical directors out here saying, “If you want to play in this tournament, anybody working with A Home Within gets a free eighteen holes, golf cart, lunch, raffle, and if you’ve got three friends who want to do it, invite them!” And I did! So I’ve got this big golf event coming up which is really fun, and I’m going to have to donate even though I think they want to pay back us in a way for working for this kind of an organization, they also I think are serving other kids, so I think we’ll all donate a lot of money because it’s just too much to not give something back to them.

Yeah, I know! That’s a lot! I mean, to play eighteen holes and have lunch at one of these country clubs - that would cost a lot of money. So I got my team together and, to feel a little less guilty about it, they’re all therapists and all of them potentially could be A Home Within volunteers. So that’s going to be my little pitch while we’re out there on the golf course.

Yeah I mean we all stink, but the idea is just to go out and have some fun, exactly.

I’m a pretty active person and often work took up most of my time, but in recent years I’ve stopped working as the counseling director at a boarding school, and [I’ve gotten] my private practice a little bit smaller and moved into sports psychology stuff, athletic counseling. But all of that gives me a lot of time to do more outside stuff. So, I’m really involved on the chair of our town recreational commission, so I spend a lot of time running t-ball clinics and organizing field hockey leagues and stuff like that. I’m also on the board of a local tennis club and am the head of the tennis committee there, so I’m doing that.

And more recently I’ve really gotten into land trust stuff, where I’m working with what’s called the Hilltown Land Trust here to steward properties that they’ve worked with landowners to preserve. So I do a lot of trail clearing and going out and working with other volunteers in these beautiful, natural settings to maintain the trails and do that kind of stuff.
And then our kids are out in California, and my wife and I try to get out there at least once a year, and they come here. We spend a lot of time with them because they’re really fun and they don’t yet have families or kids so it’s like the best time. All my other siblings who have kids say, “You better enjoy this time, because once they have husbands or wives or partners and kids, it’s not going to be the same.” So we get together and do a lot of real outdoor stuff together with the kids.
And then lastly, a lot more traveling because of the free time, and especially because of having a private practice exclusively where I have more latitude these days. My wife and I have been able to do some bike trips in Europe, get over to Japan where our son was playing for a US National ultimate frisbee team, and our daughter was in Thailand so we went over and saw her, and Ireland, Scotland, England. So, a lot of traveling in recent years and I’m loving doing that, so that’s been great!

Yeah, everybody who’s also reaching that part of their career talk about these “phases of retirement” and early on it’s the “go-go years,” and then it’s the “go slow years,” and then it’s the “no-go years,” so I definitely feel like these are the go-go years and we might as well take full advantage of it.
And that whole business of how do you cut down a private practice, how do you do it, how do you begin to let go, it’s tricky! And yet in our field as a psychotherapist I think it’s easier than some because you can continue to do it, as long as you’re cognitively pretty sound, for quite a few years, whereas there’s certain other businesses I think where you maybe don’t have that opportunity to cut back and slow down in the same way.

I just think, I know the organization is working hard to get more volunteers, the need is so enormous out there and it sounds like there are waiting lists for people in many, many different areas - and if there aren’t, there should be because how many people can you imagine have spent a day or more in foster care in their lives and could benefit from some counseling? So you know, hopefully the more volunteers that can be gotten over the years, the better.
Also, I don’t know how people find out about it as potential consumers or clients, but certainly I would want the word to be gotten out there to people through agencies and other stuff that these services exist. A woman who cleans our house, for example, was talking to my wife about her boyfriend who was in foster care growing up and has a lot of trauma, and it’s really affecting their relationship now, and she’d never heard of this program which could be something for her boyfriend, something that he could benefit from. So the more that people just know about it that would be a really positive thing.
And I would sell that piece about if you do join A Home Within, it’s more than just seeing a client once a week. It’s getting support, guidance, developing some friendships, maybe having picnics occasionally if you choose to go to them with other people that are doing this kind of work. So there's a lot to it.

Playing golf!! I know, it doesn’t seem like [the A Home Within colleagues in] my peer consultation group are too jockey, so I have to convert them! I don’t know what they’re into yet, we’re getting to know each other a little bit more. I don’t feel like we have to talk about purely clinical A Home Within cases for the whole time every two weeks. Hopefully if they’re open to it we could get to know each other a little bit better and find out what we do enjoy doing!

Yeah, she was good! And also Karen Zilberstein, she’s also a clinical director here, I met with her - that was part two and that went really well. I was impressed with her and had heard of her. So there was a lot of follow-through, too. I think you guys recognize that once there’s an interest expressed, it’s full court press! From Seattle, from you know all the different people, the videos, all of that stuff! You don’t make it hard to get on board if it looks like you’ve got somebody who wants to get on the train.

Take care, yes, hopefully I’ll meet you and see you in person sometime!